2 Timothy 2:23-26 reads, “Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.”

Faith-focused conflict resolution in marriage emphasizes seeking God’s guidance, actively listening, expressing feelings with “I” statements, finding common ground, forgiving each other, and potentially seeking professional counseling. Prayer, both individually and together, can be a powerful tool for seeking wisdom and strength. Confessing sins to God and each other, taking responsibility for one’s actions, and committing to change are also crucial steps. 

Make a conscious effort to pray and seek God’s guidance in resolving the conflict. Ask for wisdom, understanding, and the ability to communicate effectively. Give your spouse your full attention without interrupting. Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues, and try to understand their perspective. Identify areas of agreement and shared values to build upon. Focus on what unites you as a couple. 

Forgiveness is essential for healing and reconciliation. Practice forgiveness, both privately and with your spouse, and seek to release any bitterness or resentment. Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a Christian counselor if you are struggling to resolve conflicts on your own. A counselor can provide a safe space for communication and help you develop healthy conflict-resolution skills. 

Pray for wisdom, strength, and understanding as you work through the conflict. Ask God to help you communicate effectively and to heal any wounds. Confess your sins to God and then to your spouse. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict and commit to change. The goal should be to restore your relationship and strengthen your bond, not just to resolve the immediate conflict. Conflict resolution can take time and effort. Be patient with yourselves and each other, and persevere in seeking God’s help. 

And I CANNOT emphasize enough…Express your feelings and needs using “I” statements, focusing on your own experience rather than blaming your spouse. For example, instead of saying “You always…”, try saying “I feel hurt when…”. Nothing more has made the communication in my marriage more transparent than this!